When Jade was about two weeks old, I looked down at her while I was feeding her a bottle (I was a breast feeder by the way for all three) and thought, you are amazing, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am going to do my very very best to make sure you have the very best life that I can give you, I was 24 and barely knew anything). I might not be worthy but I promise I will give you my best. 2 years later she got a sister that I gave the same promise. 3 years later they got a brother and he got the promise too.
Thus was born the mom that stays at home with her kids and we hang out at story time and play time at the church and many, many hours shopping at the mall with all of our BFF's. Then all of a sudden. It's time to put them into the school system and I am like.....what the hell? That's MY baby!
I spent so much time in Jade's kindergarten classroom (she's 10 now) that 3 months into the year her teacher would take Javin, then 9 months old out of my hands and hand me the bingo cards so I could call it out and give Vivie a bingo card so she could join in cause she was 3. I made from scratch gingerbread cookies in her classroom. We had a meeting about Jade one day and turned into true friends,we talked alot that day, she lost her father that year it was awful, funny how friends come into your life right? She invited us to her wedding and we went, they came to our house for dinner. Separation anxiety....I have it. New friends, I have those too. Me and 5 different teachers handed a sleeping Javin around at the end of the school year send off, we waved at the busses and passed Javin around, he was heavy even then.
I am SO not bashing working moms at all, you have to take care of your family anyway you can and staying at home is certainly not a job everyone enjoys, but I loved it. Different things work for different families and sometimes you have to do things you don't want to at all. I remember when Joey got out of the Navy, we had a few months where he was on unemployment and I was needed to make up the difference, so I found a job, the perfect job for that time, isn't it funny how that always works out? I told him and I quote. "I'm going to do this b/c I know we need it and I have to, if Vivie crawls and I'm not here, your best bet is to lie through your teeth b/c if I miss it I'm going to be PISSED!" Vivie is 8 and to this day as far as I know I saw her crawl for the first time. Works for me.
I decided 10 and a half years ago that I was going to focus on my babies and that I did,I experienced as far as I know. Every first word, every first climb, every first crawl.Every single milestone so far in their life, I have got to see. I was the one that taught them how to succeed in this world, not a stranger at 2 years old. Thus every single problem they have that they can't fix themselves, they come to me to fix. It's been a fabulous decade. I've worked at Kay's part time for a few years went from part time to management full time, I lasted 6 months and let it go, a tanning salon, waited tables and more bars than I want to think about but I dropped them off and picked them up at the door every single day, unless my fabulous neighbor took them or Daddy was there. Joey and I both drive cars that are older than our kids, our house is awesome but too small for us. We always struggle but seem to always make it.
I kinda feel in this day and age we are a rare breed. And I like it, it works for us. It's what I want for them.
Up until 3 weeks ago I had my map, I knew what I was doing and where I was going, now, not so much, but I've lived on faith, My Joey, what feels right and a bar gig for a decade, I'm more than sure we'll figure it out.